The C word Call

My future mother in law was taken from me in just our first few weeks of dating, my aunt was taken from us when I was still in high school. I see those effected all around me lose, and some win.

Today I learned that my Grandpop has liver cancer. Words I never thought I would have to say, type, think or feel. I am writing this here because I don’t know where to start. He made it to 80 and now this?

My grandfather and I have been close since I can remember. As the eldest grandchild we have always had a special relationship. He loves my husband and Jean is his newest shining star. I get in trouble for not emailing him pictures enough so he can see her grow. And he plans to attend her christening this summer.

But now I feel I have to move more quickly. I feel this sense of urgency to research and learn and rush and make so many things happen just so we can make sure we see him as much as possible in the next few months. All I can do is think about the what if’s and try to distract myself with the positives to push down those lingering fears.

He was so positive on the phone, well except for the part when he mentioned we would have to bury him eventually anyway. But he is optimistic about his appointment next week with his oncologist and says he will do any recommended treatment that his doctor allows.

I can’t say todays run wont be distracted. But I can say that I know I will do everything I can to ensure that we make the most of our time from here.

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